Sandy Slaga

In the beginning, when God created the male child, the parents were naive and a perfect contentment protected their minds.

Then God said, “Let there be infancy”, and there was infancy. The parents saw how good and pleasing infancy was and desired to remain with the male child.

Then God said, “Let the male child bring forth the terrible twos: every kind of sound that yields babble and screeching.” And so it happened. God saw how good the toddler was for the parents.

Then God said, “Let the male child teem with an abundance of preschool, and all kinds of grade school adventures.” And the parents saw how good it still was, albeit a bit trying from time to time.

Then God said, “Let there be hormones.” God saw how good and necessary the hormones were, and God blessed them saying, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the male child with adolescence.” And so it happened.

Attitude came, and lip followed — the first day.

Then God said, “Let us make The Teenager in his father’s image, after his mother’s likeness. Let The Teenager have dominion over the sanity of the mother, the car insurance of the father and over both their debit cards.”

And so from the male child God created The Teenager; in his parents’ image he created him.

Attitude came, and “the look” followed — the six hundred ninety-second day.

The Teenager brought forth all manner of intelligence and wisdom: every kind of rationalization and distraction covered the cerebral abyss.

Attitude came, and moodiness followed — the fifteen hundred thirty-seventh day.

Then God looked at the male child and at the parents and all that they had done.

And God found everything as it should be.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 7th, 2006 at 12:45 pm and is filed under Daily Klatsch, Teenagers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.