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Cold War Parenting

Henry Kissinger, where are you?

A recent series of crises on the domestic front has resulted in deteriorating parent-teen instability.

Between the advent of the sixteen-year-old’s adolescence and the last time she and her father or I were in the same room, there have been 926 armed conflicts in 37 different locations.

The majority of these have been mother daughter wars. In the month of September alone, 43 armed conflicts occurred in 7 locations, only 2 of which were fought between father and daughter.

The sixteen-year-old’s arsenal has included: The Look, The Stare and the always effective Silent Treatment. My big gun? Her cell phone.

After an attempted coup, a ceasefire was declared this morning, leading to a break in open hostilities.

Her father, who conveniently is also my husband, has courageously stepped forward to act as a neutral third party. He hopes to bring the combatants together to facilitate a dialogue which will avoid further conflict, boarding schools or overseas religious communities.

The neutral third party is committed to hammering out a peace agreement or, in the alternative, a period of détente, either of which will demand patient, persistent efforts and Jack Daniels as co-counsel.

One Response to “Cold War Parenting”

  1. Percocet. Says:

    Percocet….

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